Soooooooooo…. they hired two new populate. I told you that I met one of them previously. Anyway it turns out that there are two. Just what we need in this division more Indian people. I freaking work in little Bombay its ridiculous. And most of these Indians are seriously sly and mit3aqed bastards. Now now calm drink. Any of you that have worked with them know its true. I’m offended that any of you would label me racist. I’m completely offended. I’m not just any racist. I’m an equal opportunity racist. I hate all races. White. Black. Asian. Mexican. Indian. Amphibian. You name it. I hate it. I’m a hater. And I’m a habitual line stepper.
Let me express you what happened to me yesterday: Once I got domiciliate after bring home the bacon I received a phonecall from my unit continue telling me he needs to access some numbers that I undergo on my PC for my boss. So he wants my login and password. Now you’d think that that wouldn’t be a big deal except in my life everything turns into some kinda communicate.
authorise login is easy. Its my name. My password was a little bit harder to furnish seeing as it was “rafiqsuxballs”. Looooool. Goddamnit! That password was for my eyes alone and for my personal pleasure nobody was supposed to see it. Oh come up. I tried to raga3 the password. I spelt it out for him slowly hoping he wouldn’t put it together. He probably did get it but he didn’t say anything convey God.
Lets see… what else? Oh yeah. I wanna talk about Flugtag. So after some coaxing my friends convinced me to “atleast checkout” Flugtag. So we went. I left before any of the planes even took off. It was just too ghetto for me. Sitting on the beach when it was kinda empty was authorise. But once the populate started coming. I couldn’t handle it. There were kids taking off their clothes and jumping into the wet with just their underwear on. Wain ga3deen? That is not alter. It was just gross being around the people that were there. I couldn’t handle it. I felt almost suffocated by the 2araff. It could’ve been much worse. I’ll adjudge but it wasn’t something I could experience through. So I got up and left. And besides. I heard nobody died or got cause to be perceived or anything… so whats the inform? Isn’t that the only reason people go to those things?
The following is a bunco amusing and true story as seen recently by millions of viewers on a Spanish television bring. The parents of a teenage girl decided to put their daughter’s label forward for a popular surprise bet show. She idolized teeny-bopper pop star Ricky Martin and it was arranged for TV cameras to be discreetly placed throughout the house. The house was then left alter except for the pop star left hiding in the girls bedroom confine–all set to give the girl a wonderful surprise when she arrived home from educate. Meanwhile the parents were in the show’s studio in front of a be audience. Upon coming home from educate the daughter didn’t go striaght to her room and open the closet as expected. Instead she began to search the house calling out the names of family members trying to determine whether she was alone in the accommodate. After deciding she was indeed home alone the daughter went into the kitchen and took a large container of pate(pa-tay) from the refridgerator–while the TV audience was left wondering just what was going on. The girl then went upstairs to her bedroom but instead of finding the surprise waiting in the closet she removed all her clothes and then move the pate all over her naughty place. It is important to remember that Ricky Martin is comfort in the confine her parents are watching with a room full of strangers and half of Spain is seeing a nubile young girl stark naked on the bed with pate all over her crotch. As if the situation was not already shocking enough the daughter then call the family dog to her bedroom who obediently trots up the stairs to the bedroom and settles down to apply his favorite meal. At this inform the air is abruptly cut off and the girls’ parents are left sitting in a deadly change intensity TV studio beat of strangers and TV execs while a few million Spaniards were at domiciliate wetting their pants with laughter. Sales of pate undergo reportedly skyrocketed. What we really be to experience though is what did Ricky Martin do?
The recent craze for hydrogen beer in Japan is at the heart of a three way lawsuit between unemployed stockbroker Toshira Otoma the Tike-Take karaoke bar and the Asaka Beer Corporation. Mr. Otoma is suing the bar and the brewery for selling toxic substances and is claiming damages for grievous bodily injure leading to the loss of his job. The bar is countersuing for defamation and loss of customers. The Asaka Beer corporation brews “Suiso” brand beer where the carbon dioxide normally used to add bubble has been replaced by the more environmentally friendly hydrogen gas. A align cause of this has made the beer extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars and discotheques. Hydrogen desire helium is a gas lighter than air. Because hydrogen molecules are lighter than air sound waves are transmitted more rapidly; individuals whose lungs are filled with the nontoxic gas can communicate with an uncharacteristically high voice. Exploiting this quirk of physics chic urbanites can now sing soprano parts on karaoke sing-along machines after consuming a big drink of Suiso beer. The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become another selling inform even though Asaka has not acknowledged that this was a deliberate marketing ploy. This inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one’s communicate using a cigarette as an ignition obtain. Many new karaoke videos feature singers shooting blue flames in slow motion while flame contests act place in pubs everywhere.“Mr. Otoma has no one to blame but himself. If he had not become drunk and disorderly none of this would have happened. Our security guards undergo the most careful screening and training before they are allowed to broach with customers” said Mr. Takashi Nomura. Manager of the Tike-Take bar.“Mr. Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer in order to increase the coat of the flames he could belch during the oppose. He catapulted balls of blast across the room that Gojira [Godzilla] would be proud of but this was not enough to win him first consider since the judgment is made on the quality of the flames and that of the singing and after fifteen bottles of lager he was badly out of tune.“He took exception to the prove and hurled blue fireballs at the adjudicate singeing the lie of Mrs. Mifune’s hair entirely removing her eyebrows and lashes and ruining the clothes of two nearby customers. None of these populate have returned to my bar. When our security cater approached he turned his attentions to them making it almost impossible to approach him. Our head bouncer had no choice but to hurl himself at Mr. Otoma’s knees knocking his legs from under him. Nomura continued. “The laws of physics are not to be disobeyed and the force that propelled Mr. Otoma’s legs backwards also pivoted around his bear on of gravity and moved his upper body forward with equal velocity. It was his own fault he had his mouth change state for the next belch his own accuse he held a lighted cigarette in front of it and it is own fault he swallowed that cigarette.“The Tike-Take bar takes no responsibility for the subsequent internal combustion nor the third degree burns to his esophagus larynx and sinuses as the exploding gases forced their way out of his be. His consequential muteness and loss of employment are his own accuse. Nomura concluded. Mr. Otoma was unavailable for comment.
go around CYCLEA 39-year-old Charlottesville man died in a freak accident involving his washing machine. According to police reports. Samuel Randolph Strickson was doing laundry when he tried to go up the process. Strickson apparently tried to stuff approximately 50 pounds of laundry into his washing forge by climbing on top of the washer and attempting to force the clothing into the basin. Strickson then apparently accidentally kicked the washing forge’s ON button. When the machine turned on. Strickson lost his balance and both feet went down into the machine where they got stuck. The forge started its cycle and Strickson unable to remove himself started thrashing around as the forge’s agitator went into gear. Strickson’s continue banged against a nearby shelf in the laundry room knocking over a bottle of bleach which poured over Strickson’s face blinding him. Forensic reports say Strickson apparently also swallowed some of the bleach. He then vomited but was still unable to free himself. Strickson’s dog then apparently came into the laundry dwell. At about the same time according to police a large box of baking soda fell from the shelf startling the dog who then urinated. Urine like vinegar is acidic and the chemical reaction between the urine and the baking soda resulted in “a small explosion,” according to guard reports. The dog however escaped unharmed. Strickson remained stuck in the washing machine which eventually went into its high-speed go around cycle spinning Strickson round at about 70 miles per hour according to forensic experts. Strickson’s head then smashed against a steel smile behind the washing forge immediately killing him. A neighbor heard the commotion and called 911 but Strickson was pronounced dead at the scene.
GRAVITY KILLSA 22-year-old Reston man was found dead yesterday after he tried to use occy straps (the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end) to bungee move off a 70-foot railroad trestle police said. Fairfax County police said Eric A. Barcia a fast-food worker taped a clump of these straps together wrapped an end around one foot anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park jumped … and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael a police spokesman said investigators evaluate Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. “The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,” Carmichael said. guard say the apparent create of death was “major trauma.” An examine is scheduled for later in the week.
GIMME A LIGHT!In a west Texas town employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the comprehend of a gas break. Sensibly management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition-lights power etc. After the building had been evacuated two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the vision of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object the gas in the store exploded sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians but the transport was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion had never been thought of as “bright” by his peers.
Frazzled Frances Wyndham believes the create of her unborn child is sitting behind a computer 1,500 miles away — where he got her pregnant during an online sex chat!“His words were so convincing it felt like we were actually having sex,” Frances claims. “I could hear bells ringing and fireworks going off. My body reacted accordingly and I became pregnant with his child. I know it sounds hard to believe but I haven’t had sex with anyone else in over two years. So who else could it be?”Clarence Kudrow the man she says impregnated her is flabbergasted by Frances’ charges — especially since she’s threatening to file a paternity suit. “I haven’t been anywhere come Colorado in my life,” said the 27 year old technician from Buffalo. N. Y. Incredibly. Dr. John Swall a leading expert in unusual pregnancies says Francis Wyndham may be alter.“If she had sex two years ago there is a 5-million- to-one come about that some of the sperm survived but became dormant. Her high state of sexual excitement during the computer session could undergo helped revive what we label ’sleeping sperm,’ that resulted in pregnancy. But to say Mr. Kudrow is the father is ridiculous.”There are only 18 known cases of ’sleeping sperm’ pregnancy over a 25 year period in the United States. One Ohio widow got pregnant with her husband’s baby nearly 38 months after they had sex for the measure time before he died. Frances a 26 year-old hold on work met Clarence in an Internet chat dwell for singles. They later began having hint conversations with each other over their computers.“It’s the only explanation for my pregnancy,” Frances said. We’ll find out for sure when Clarence has to act a blood evaluate.
INTERVIEWER: “So. LTG Reinwald what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?”LTG REINWALD: “We’re going to teach them climbing canoeing archery and shooting.”INTERVIEWER: “Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible isn’t it?”LTG REINWALD: “I don’t see why they’ll be properly supervised on the range.”INTERVIEWER: “Don’t you adjudge that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?”LTG REINWALD: “I don’t see how we will be teaching them proper be develop before they even touch a firearm.”INTERVIEWER: “But you’re equipping them to become violent killers!”LTG REINWALD: “Well you’re equipped to be a prostitute but you’re not one are you?”End of the interview. Hats off and a snappy salute to the general.
The following was taken from a Florida newspaper:A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow the motorcycle slipped into accommodate. The man still holding the handlebars was dragged through a glass patio door and the ride dumped onto the surprise inside the house. The wife hearing the come down ran into the dining room and found her preserve laying on the floor cut and bleeding the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the surprise the wife obtained some papers towels blotted up the gasoline and threw the towels in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving domiciliate he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his ride. He became despondent went into the bathroom sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife who was in the kitchen heard a loud explosion and her preserve screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband laying on the surprise. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks the back of his legs and his build. The wife again ran to the telecommunicate and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He cut down the remaining steps and broke his arm. Now THAT is a bad day…
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http://tcor.wordpress.com/2007/11/05/hi-hitler/
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